Name: There I was Far, Far, from Home
Brand: Knew-U-Ministries
SKU: 4810
Price: 7.35 USD
Availability: InStock

There I was Far, Far, from Home

There I was Far, Far, from Home – No one to hear my cry or even listen. Cast
out like an abominable branch. I was no longer amongst the servants or the cattle of my father’s ranch. Although I was of him no one knew it. Like a conception held in secret behind a curtain, but my birth nevertheless was certain.

It wasn’t him that had cast me out, it was his Greatest Soldier, A Man of War, who showed up at the door. I knocked so loudly; I opened the door so proudly! He said unto me you are to be a voice unto this generation. My heart filled with such joy and expectation! To finally fulfill my station my earnest expectation.

He told me to gather my things I thought to the chief seats He would take me, the place that they would regard me the place that would make me. He said is this what you want to fulfill your great commission I said it is but something seemed to be missing.

I was so full of what I could see in my eyes, upon my arrival the cheers the claps the tears in their eyes. I could see it all like one how walk in a room and all go silent. A declarer of truth to the enemy, violent. A declarer of war with only victory to follow. A portrait of a picture within the hallowed hall with my face on it.

The esteem the respect not lacking anything, all that was mine I would protect. Even helping all who neglected my words and deeds so effectively although I knew not what those words would be. I said to him when we were on the way to my training.

Wait aren’t we going the wrong way? I don’t remember hearing about this place or that this is part of the journey.

He didn’t say a word, but I could tell in His disposition He was a Man on a mission. I told Him whatever I needed to do, wherever I needed to go. I thought I would be in training for such a season, I thought I knew the reason.

On the way to the place of training I realized it wasn’t at all what I’d pictured. I thought it would be camaraderie and brotherhood filled with the training of mastery the things I called good. But as he led me unto the distance, I couldn’t deny my resistance. I didn’t want to go but I wanted to become a soldier but it wasn’t what I bargained.

When He continued to ask me the incessant question, you would think that I would have learned my lesson. But here I was all alone, no way of calling home if I left and went back, they would treat me as a vagrant.

I tried writing home taking short vacations to let them know hey maybe now
I’m ready, but it’s like He told them not to see me nor speak to me till my training was finished. For some strange reason it was like I was a foreigner in my own home.

I’d go for special events and celebrations hoping that they would be ready to place me in my honored position, but they looked upon me like they never knew me. I heard and witnessed their climb, even the young ones that were my age, it was like they were doing what I desired to do. As for me though I was in this training field of desolation!

They were feasting upon every occasion; I was getting drug upon ever provocation. I was eating dross and my body was riddled with weakness. I was looking for every reason to leave, but he wouldn’t let me. I kept hoping that they would notice but inside countless times I cried I want to go back home.

I’m certain he heard my cries in way or another every day and every night. Hearing my dad’s oration or his writings. Every moment listening, listening, listening, hoping someday soon he’d notice that one boy is missing.

I was heartbroken, I thought I’d made the biggest mistake ever; I thought I was clever. I thought this Man of War was my dad’s soldier my opportunity for power and authority my four clover my lottery ticket but here I am in the midst of thorns and thickets. The briars climbed higher and higher. He asked me again and again, You want it? I couldn’t help it. I would plead and cry and sigh in all emotions I would continue to reply I do.

Even though out here my life my end I’m not at all certain that this hard man is my friend. Have I been deceived, have I believed a lie my shame is 10 ft high and I’m drowning. I’ve mistaken I thought I was following but I’ve been taken.

He held me captive where I didn’t want to be, it grew so much colder. No one knew my name nor from whence I came. I heard their accomplishments I heard their fame throughout the nation, yet here I remained full of frustration.

Their names are full of fame and victory.

As for me face down in folly of my emotions these ones put in the ring, they made a spectacle of my weakness my incompleteness. I said I was strong they exposed every weakness, so many times I didn’t think the day would end, the utter humiliation the muddy prostration.

Mud and muck were forced down my throat and the smell of stench in my nose and ridiculously foolishly I thought I might quit.

“What is this all for I asked thousands of times if once. Many times, when I felt their feet on my neck and upon my skull. I’m so empty but back home they are so full. I had been forsaken not by some by all here I’m nothing and that I was ten feet tall.

A toy a ball no help coming although I call, I cry out as loud as I can, no hope for me as soon as the doors close in the arena, I will not survive the beatings the lashings the continuous laughing. They have their place of rule this is their court and I’m their gesture! Vesture on my chest I have nothing, strength?! I realize now it was a lie, I have zero strength in my thighs. The light in my eyes, demise.

I cried out just Go on and kill me end it!!!! It’s over!! Utter, utter, utter, futility there is no way I’ll ever get back everything and everyone is against me.

Why couldn’t I end it? Just quit there’s no way to win, I am the epitome of sin I’m alone so far, far, from home. I have no one and nothing. I’m a coward, I’m a liar, I conspire, I want it all but don’t deserve anything.

Anything I get I spoil, full anger hostility and toil. I want what they got it’s so much better! Every dot, every letter is so much better than me!