Courage

Courage

By Shannan Humphrey

Courage – There is always a hesitance to go against the grain. To swim upstream, to go against the flow. It would be so much easier to just conform to the already existing norm. To be abnormal in the world, to be extraordinary. I believe that there are many out there on the earth, that if just truly given a chance, will truly change the world. It’s the reason they were born.

There are these prevailing winds, these obstructions, these barriers, if they could just break through them, or have those opportunities afforded them, they could become who they know deep within them they were purposed to be.

As for me, in the beginning everything I did was for personal gain, to somehow someway tie my own shoelaces before I tried to teach someone else to tie. How can a slave to sin teach others to be free? How can a slave from the deepest darkest regions of pride teach humility?

A conundrum for certain, but all I needed was the right instruction.  Even then I did not know what the right instruction was. I thought then it was what gave me the results I was looking for. But what happens when you try not once, but countless times and those results are witnessed in others but not yourself? How can one who is a slave ever be satisfied with being anything other than free?

It just so happens that God was and is always very patient with me. He suffers long for my sake until I get it. I am more certain than ever before when I look back into the journaling of my former self, I see the error in my understanding and in that moment when I was journaling, I know for certain I thought that was the greatest understanding that I would ever have in my life.

Now so many years later and so much more experience in the darkness and in the light, I realize my immaturity in the Spirit. I know now even then if someone called me a babe in Christ I would have been offended.

See I remember scripture far better now than ever before. I don’t think it has anything to do with my ability or inability to understand scripture, it has everything to do with my Spiritual Growth.

We in the world don’t expect our earthen babies to understand nor comprehend all that we know nor understand of the world we just birthed them into. Even at a young age when they declare unto us that the world is this or the world is that, we may smile at their lack of understanding, but it’s excusable because they just don’t know any better like once we knew no better.

We move on and say well sweetie, it’s a little different than that. But they have only been subjected and have only the capacity to understand what has been presented to them. We, as their parents’ family, older brothers and sisters mentor’s teachers try the best we can to instruct them in the things of the world for their good, we entrust others to do so when we ourselves are not equipped.

We trust the most valuable things to us and to others. The forming of the minds of our children. When we hear or witness such things that are viewed in our minds as wrong, we respond in a number of many ways. All directed to righting either the wrong or our evaluation of it.

The cause and effect, the reasoning behind why our children or another’s child have been treated in such a manner. Based upon the importance of that child in our mind, we either act or we don’t. Many times, based upon the effects of acting on behalf of other children, the common fear is that we ourselves or even our children may be treated differently.

Being an advocate is a dangerous business. Standing up for those who have no one to stand up for them is not just some quick fix. The more you look into the reality of injustice the more it seems to be in every looking into.

The witness to injustice is becoming more and more prevalent in the world. Those who have never really experienced core injustice for themselves are left many times wondering what they are even talking about. It’s this issue or that issue, the present, the past, the crimes of today that will plague our children or grandchildren in the future.

Everyone wants the injustice to stop, and I have heard oh so many answers to the problem, and all of them think their solution should be in the forefront of solutions. But the solution to all the injustices of the world has already been delivered to Us.

See being a Lifetime Student, I have witnessed almost every injustice one could suffer at the age of 18. Definitely not to the extent nor the cruelty that many have been made to suffer, but nevertheless injustice has been my banner.

I never asked to be born. I didn’t get a vote of who I was born unto. I never had enough authority or power to tell them to do this or do that unto me. I did not determine for myself where we lived, how we lived and who lived with us or not.

I did not decide what radio stations, or tv channels we watched. I didn’t decide whether the electricity got turned off or not. I didn’t decide whether I ate nor when I ate. I didn’t determine where my parents went for counsel.

I didn’t determine what schools I went to. Did Not determine much of anything that was in my life nor did I have the capacity to do so at such an age.

Yet I was subject to all. Yes, I became obedient due to the things in which I suffered. I conformed to the environment in which I was provided. It would be great to be able to say that it was a loving caring stable environment, but I would be lying like many of us who try to justify our childhoods to try to remedy the great sorrow we feel inside.

We feel cheated many times in our childhood. We saw things no child should see, but we saw it. We heard things a child should not hear but we heard it. We were subjected to things no child should be subjected to, but we were.

Many of those we loved hurt us the most. The ones that were supposed to love us the most hurt us. Not once. Countless times, many of us still subject ourselves to that same hurt and laugh a little and just say that mom that’s dad, they probably aren’t ever going to change.

They are stuck in their ways. I remember being there. Bound by my affections to those who harmed me most. I remember. Who does one give their love to when there is none worthy of it? I’m certain they gave their love to me, but all the other things they gave me were contrary to that love and they still have not stopped.

Forty-eight years now and they have not changed yet if you asked them, they would say they have changed a lot. Yet only their earthen circumstance has changed. The strength and beauty found in their youth has faded and now that the power and authority they once possessed has passed and they have been forced to succumb to a new set of rules at far greater costs.

Wasting away hours, days, and years awaiting the end. Hopelessness is not kind; it is a treacherous foe. It robs each generation of its greatest opportunities. Be a generation of change.

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Regards, Shan

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Shannan Humphrey

Shan

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