The Fields White as Snow

The Fields White as Snow

The Fields White as Snow – The fields white as snow. Every moment of everyday. In the minute and in eternity. Their cries call out unto me. In the beginning I did not know what it was. It was quieter than the quiet. It struck a chord it caused a riot.

In the midst of my loneliness, they called out unto me. I did not know them it was filled with so much that it caused my confusion. No one told me no one dared to explain it. Not sure that those in my midst could.

I prayed for it to cease, to be released from all the chatter. I had enough to contend with without all their matters. As the sounds grew later, I tried to lay my body flatter and flatter, trying to deny the truth of the whole situation.

A nobody insignificance in the middle of nowhere. I had seen their glory, the cost and the value of their structures. I covered my ears, I closed my eyes, I balled up with my elbows upon my thighs. Why, why. must I hear this, see this, why must I think this?

What a wretch, what an utter fool, what a tool in the hands of the adversary. Why can’t I fake it, why can’t I shake it, why can’t I kick against the pricks?

Why can’t I smile and clap and celebrate their folly! Why can’t I accept these sayings and the endless want in their prayers they keep praying! Why can’t I agree with what they continue to be saying! Why can’t I agree with what they say of me? Why do they say Yes! Yes! And say they are #blessed!

But all I hear and see is a mess, a vein attempt at best! Why can’t I accept them like they’ve accepted me! Why can’t I just be O Be Joyful All You People. Why can’t I hide in the midst of their assembly and just get a taste of this peace they speak about incessantly!

I want it I want it how low must I bow. How long must I bury my face beneath even the grave! Help me O God, I want so much to love those whom you love, wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove!

The Love My Father from above, it’s my greatest desire, but these incessant cries of your children, thou their mouths say different. I look into their eyes, and I see the emptiness, I hear their voices and their words are plentiful but even then, I’m emptier.

It’s like those that have promised me peace and stand upon a stage have lied unto me, and within me comes forth rage! What’s wrong with me?!!

Why can’t I be like the others, my sisters, my brothers! Why can’t I eat with them and not feel incomplete! Why when they speak do I attempt to correct them! When they think something is significant why do I neglect them of their clapping!

Why when they are trying to heal branches, I want to snap the twigs!

Why when they are at peace, I know they are in danger! When they desire to be at peace, I want to pick a fight with a worthy adversary! Yes, it is certain, for a time I too desired to be like them. To be one of the fold! To be one who was honored and invited. One who was seen. One who was heard.

One of the herds. One of the niceties. One of the ones who spoke with power and authority. The acceptance of those who had all that I desired. Or so I thought. God knows how I tried to resist it. How I tried to follow their leading. How at their troughs I kept feeding. How in the beginning their words were far better than those I had heard before.

Of my God they began to teach me. They told me of His greatness, the many signs and wonders, many men and their blunders. They are raging of fires and the many thundering.

Who was this God I had not known but I thought I did. In the spirit I was a babe not even a kid. It’s what they did, and when I was of an age before I knew there was a spiritual age. The Spirit came to me. Told me lose the CDs, the tapes, the books, the shows.

Fear and trembling were greatly assembling in my members, I misunderstood, I thought I feared but it was my flesh not my spirit! Hear it? I didn’t know it then but it without question now.

There was great difficulty ahead, a turning, a fixing, of the things they said I had buried deep in my head! Hear Me son! What? It’s so hard to hear You! I couldn’t discern one voice from another. I was scared beyond measure! But I noticed that there was something that started to occur.

In the midst of the loudest music, I began to hear words not mentioned. The way they taught me in the still and the silence wasn’t for me!

In my worship my greatest praise I heard there the Words of the Ancient of Days start to repeat like an echo through me! One moment it would be there in the next thought it wouldn’t! Utter frustration thought many times repeating the last thing that caused it God Must have been on vacation.

No need for the enemy to sift me like wheat I would do it for him. Trying with all my might to find His face, that place, that familiar voice that was so utterly distinct. Trying to align all my thinking, starting to get rhythm and some steam and then finding myself in utter sorrow and find myself again, Utterly stuck in the midst of fodder and the pods of the pigs listening again to my Fathers kids!

Why can’t I just be like them? It would be so much easier! Silence, the kind of silence that causes one to shutter. The kind you don’t know if He’s coming back. Don’t ever think for a moment this is easy!

I loathe your misunderstanding!

This was not free! It cost me everything! When I wanted to keep something, it was taken from me anyway! Ease! Ease! Utter mental brutality! You think men can cause you trouble?

Let God bust your bubble! You will know trouble, the kind without end.

You’d rather not contend! The kind that would call Him everything but friend! You think you know, we don’t, I don’t argue with God it’s futilities futility! You think you get a vote?

Nope! Otherwise, His conclusions would not be true! If something changes, it’s your mind.

I don’t argue, I ask questions. That’s the greatest punctuation to ever be placed on your words, always in the form of a question! It’s not God that’s in Jeopardy, He is Jeopardy, your carnal mind is the leprosy. Your spiritual mind is always in agreement with Him.

Discerning the difference is the key otherwise you’ll be just like me in the beginning. Thinking you’re doing the right thing, but you continue in your sinning. I’m not grinning, it’s really not so funny, I went to these churches to find Him! I found folly; their tinsel their Holly their celebration.

Do you really think I wanted to see the shame done in His Name! You think I rejoice in the words they speak to my brothers and sisters who are also looking! You think the church that is in the Name of my Beloved I enjoy being kicked out of cause I’m trying to help!

You think I enjoy being a castaway? Mistreated, dishonored, mistaken, called all manner of things outside who I am, because I oppose them to their face because of what they are teaching my Fathers Children! You think they like giving me an answer when I pin them against the wall with my understanding?

You think I enjoy rebuking their flesh, but because they are unlearned think I’m opposing them? You think it’s easy correcting your children when they have wronged you or your spouse?

Whom do you suppose I’m wed to my dear?

Am I not part of the bride?

A son born of the Spirit?

Are they not also? How do you know who I am least you hear it, but if your standards are worldly and not Kingdom, you bet my words Sting em!

Zing em’ Ping em’ on a very uncomfortable level. Authority and power from above, been awhile or maybe never since they encountered one like me. To me no matter I can’t stand foolish chatter, it’s the tending to spiritual children that’s my measure!

Trespass against them you’ve trespassed against me! It’s my measure, My Families Pleasure, I take no leisure! It’s a constant meditation, I hear them! They hear me! Those who don’t! Won’t! They are another’s!

But as for Me and My House We Shall Serve the Lord all of our days and all Eternity to Come! A House of Daughters and Sons grown to full measure for the Fruiting of the Nations that were birthed from Above.

Come Holy Spirit give a Kiss from Above on those who are so inclined to drink the New Wine! Cause the old is tainted despite them trying to paint it! Outside of the dish, they wish!

The old is passing away!

Behold the New! You!

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Regards, Shan

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Shannan Humphrey

Shan

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